EACH OF US EXPERIENCES IT, every day - the level of human conflict is rising and the degree of civil behavior is decreasing: in the workplace, within relationships, while driving, on the phone and in the cyber world, just to name a few places where humane treatment toward one another is waning. Entitlement attitudes and self-orientation are becoming epidemic, as the desires and indulgences of the one are usurping the needs of the many. And although most people you ask will agree with this reality, few offer tangible solutions to the fact that divisive, insensitive and disrespectful behavior is ramping up the amount of societal stress, and thereby amplifying its destructive toll upon both individual and collective health and well-being, as well as posing a real threat to sane survival of the species. The costs of conflict and communication challenges are staggering, both monetarily and otherwise, whether they are within the workplace, consumer interactions, or our personal relationships.
The growing field of neuroscience and its companion discipline of neuroplasticity is proving that each of us can consciously choose to change our brains by how we use our minds. In addition to our genetic makeup, and the environment we live in, the choices and actions we take play a role in how and what ways our minds (and our brains) can be re-shaped - either in positive and productive ways, or negative and destructive ways. Scientific experiments are constantly demonstrating that by deliberately focusing our mental attention we can constantly fire new neurons in our brains - even in our latter years - and can accelerate humanitarian-based emotions and attitudes such as mutual respect, kindness, patience, healthy self-esteem, non-enablement, appropriate self-control, wise boundaries, positive coping skills, emotional and social intelligence, fearless inner strength, and last but not least, empathy and compassion, all of which are core principles of what I call Mindfulness-Based Conflict Mediation and Communication Education™.
Neuroplasticity is a modern-day scientific term that also reflects the ancient practice of mindfulness, brought into global culture from the Buddhist philosophies. Mindfulness is not a religious practice, it is a technique of re-minding ones self via paying conscious, moment-by-moment attention to the impact we have upon everyone we come into contact with, and purposely choosing behaviors that foster inclusiveness and mutual respect toward the perspectives and needs of others. When we bring mindfulness into our communications with everyone, we demonstrate a level of inner balance, diplomacy, non-reactivity, and calm personal strength. Mindfulness allows us to be aware of how we show up during times of conflict, and to maintain fearless, yet empathetic and compassionate
centeredness. Our own mindful communications can bring out the best in others by our sheer example, and by connecting with them on an authentic human level regardless of what may appear to separate us, we create opportunities for walls to be transcended and bridges to be forged.
NEUROPLASTICITY - AND MINDFULNESS - require focused mental effort and repetition to create new grooves in our neural pathways to reorganize or replace the older, often less-efficient ones. Both have the ability to create both physical and chemical changes in the brain. One must be committed to practicing and paying attention 24/7/365 - but it's neither boring nor constricting; in fact it is the exact opposite. Mindfulness is a highly grounding practice that can be practiced by all faiths and beliefs, and has nothing to do with "cosmic woo-woo fluff" whatsoever.
Neuroplasticity-focused brain exercises are being used to successfully rehabilitate stoke victims and help attain increased mental functioning as we age. Besides aiding us in areas of conflict, mindfulness touches all corners of our lives and contributes to greater overall health and well-being by reducing stress levels and developing strong coping skills, both priceless allies in our complex, high-pressure lives. Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy is also successfully being used to treat chronic depression and obsessive-compulsive disorder. Mindfulness-Based meditation has been scientifically studied and found to create both short- and long term neural changes.
In an article titled "Quantum physics in neuroscience and psychology:
a neurophysical model of mind–brain interaction," Jeffrey M. Schwartz, M.D., Henry P. Stapp and Mario Beauregard state:
"The mental act of clear-minded introspection and
observation, variously known as mindfulness, mindful
awareness, bare attention, the impartial spectator, etc.,
is a well-described psychological phenomenon with a
long and distinguished history in the description of
human mental states (Nyanaponika 2000). The most
systematic and extensive exposition is in the canonical
texts of classic Buddhism preserved in the Pali language,
a dialect of Sanskrit. Because of the critical importance
of this type of close attentiveness in the practice of
Buddhist meditation, some of its most refined descriptions
in English are in texts concerned with meditative
practice (although it is of critical importance to realize
that the mindful mental state does not require any
specific meditative practice to acquire, and is certainly
not in any sense a ‘trance-like’ state)."
The authors of this piece go on to say:
"When people practice self-directed activities for the
purpose of systematically altering patterns of cerebral
activation they are attending to their mental and
emotional experiences, not merely their limbic or
hypothalamic brain mechanisms. And although no
scientifically oriented person denies that those brain
mechanisms play a critical role in generating those
experiences, precisely what the person is training him or
herself to do is to willfully change how those brain
mechanisms operate - and to do that requires attending
to mental experience per se. It is, in fact, the basic
thesis of self-directed neuroplasticity research that the
way in which a person directs their attention (e.g. mindfully
or unmindfully) will affect both the experiential
state of the person and the state of his/her brain." |
TRANSFORMATIVE CONFLICT MEDIATION is an artful skill and profession that is expanding rapidly and garnering accolades for its ability to bring people together to find common ground and create mutually productive and beneficial solutions to situations where divisive, uncivil behaviors are tearing away the fabric and glue of organizations, teams, and partnerships, whether they are professional or personal. Transformative Conflict Mediation brings empowerment and recognition into the process for both parties, making the process both productive and humane. By adding the dynamic of mindfulness-based approaches to the proven methods of successful mediation between disparate parties in specific situations, everyone involved has the opportunity to increase their ability to go below the surface and beyond the outward manifestations of any particular conflict in order to gain valuable insights. As resolution comes into view, both parties are more capable of being able to communicate humanity within that particular situation of discord, as well as within all areas of conflict in their lives. And by so doing, each person is thereby transformed and empowered to discover new choices, options and possible solutions, and lead by positive and empowering example, teaching everyone within their sphere of influence the value of civil, humanitarian communication and interaction at a time in human history where the need has never been greater.
It is the purpose of this website to educate and inspire its visitors to explore mindful and humane ways of treating their fellow human beings, and to challenge them to move from mere platitudes about what is possible into tangible action with real results. By living and leading impeccably, compassionately and transparently in all our thoughts, choices, behaviors and activities we can consciously and purposefully work to reduce interpersonal conflicts, increase understanding and civility, and positively influence the course of our collective future.